(ahem)

I am having a HUGE craving for cake. So, instead of reading my mass media research textbook for Friday's exam, I am looking for cake delivery online.

Taken from www.tiramisutra.com

I can't get the picture off awfullychocolate.com but it's orgasmic. Oh yeah baby. (That sounds so not me.) There goes my mind tonight. I might as well go to sleep now and dream it (wet dream?...gosh what's wrong with me, I haven't even had the aphrodisiac) cos I sure as hell can't study now.

P.S. There isn't a title because I can't think of one that isn't sexually suggestive.

real music. yes?

Leona Lewis is
sexy without being trampy.
provocative without being revealing.

And her voice is great and I love her better in time mtv. It is understated, classy and reaches right to your heart. Much better than the regular pop that's manufactured to impress but instead shocks and appalls, don't you think?

"Even though I really loved you, I'm gonna smile cos I deserve to."

It will all get better in time.

it's only april.

Is Christmas ever coming again? ):

true?

"It might be hard to be lovers, but it's harder to be friends."

Bon Jovi

is this it?

Singapore Dreaming scares the shit out of me.

a bit of pre-conclusive depression.

So I was the last victim of the seniors' ponding spree and it happened right after I walked out from my bath!! But it's okay, I kicked their balls, literally, and clawed them (their arms, not their balls).

I'm supposed to write a piece that best expresses myself but I am so stuck. But check this out, my brainchild:

1. We get your mind off safety, and on pleasure.

2. For your pleasure, we take care of the safety aspect.

Ad slogans. Guess what product? Actually it's a no-brainer.


I'm actually a bit depressed thinking about my future (not only career wise). Sometimes, liking (or loving) a person doesn't make things right or help them work out. But it is so effortless to make do with the status quo. Zero risk and all. Why are you like that?

Besides the really immature lyrics, I actually rather enjoy Potential Breakup Song.

who, me?

I was the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.


Where is that girl now?

to speak or not to speak.

little val has been taught a very important lesson for her naivete:

to repress judgment.

on philosophers.

Philosophers are an egoistic lot. They get one point across in three sentences with different phrasings and bombastic language. Definitely can't write for media. Our newspapers will be 300 pages long.

In my nihilistic whining to Edwin today, he threw out a gem spontaneously.

"It's pointless but still can have fun what." (on life)

things i could be when i grow up

David Ogilvy

is totally my idol.


1. journalist

2. copy writer

3. travel writer

4. with an NGO

5. researcher (doing fieldwork in far-flung places)

6. astronomer (no, i wish)

Valerie's Thanksgiving

Today is Valerie's Thanksgiving Day.

I am hereby thanking every important person in my life. I may pretend I can't be bothered with you, I may give you a hard time, I may not look like I give a fuck about the things you do for me, but if you vanish from my life, I would be devastated. Important people, you know who you are*. Thank you for being in my life, thank you for everything you are and could possibly be, and for all the selfless deeds. I need you and I care for you and I care what you think of me.

To all you important people who keep my sanity when I torture myself with morbid states of emo-ness, thank you. I love you.


*On second thoughts, you may not actually know who you are, but I, at least, know who you are and so if at least one person in the equation knows, technically, it is acceptable to claim efficacy.

My Little (as yet non-existent) Mini Van

When I get my license and enough money of my own, I'll buy a van and write my favourite lines from songs all over it. I'll buy cushions and comforters and put them in the back so I can sleep in my van anytime. I'll hang a disco ball on the ceiling. I'll house my cute orange amp with the cushions. Even though there isn't a power outlet to plug it in. And more importantly, even though there's no electric guitar for it to amplify (wtf!). Ok, that's if I don't sell it first cos I'm finally convinced now I've got zero need for it.

I'll have cheery little curtains in it. Even though I'm goth. But the lyrics are most important. I'm in love with words. (:

The pointlessness of our existence

At 20, I have come to find that life has nothing more to offer, nothing better.

Isn't that a sad thing to hear from a person who is supposedly at the prime of her life?

I am going to read Le Mythe de Sisyphe.

take time to see

Ever watched the news and wondered about the people who brought it to you?

What you see on television, live or otherwise, appears seamless. But really, it is one of those work that, if done perfectly, no one notices or gives credit. One blunder, though, and you get screwed upside down.

Come to think of it, most work are taken for granted. Are we really so caught up with ourselves that we can't stop to appreciate how other people make our lives just that little smoother and easier?

Lamenting Apathy

Perhaps the most lamentable form of emotion a human can feel is apathy. How can I accurately define apathy in a way that illustrates the true gravity of this emotion? Apathy is not ignorance; it is not oblivion. It is, in its true manifestation, a deep-seated doctrine that rejects the essence of being human, a self-imposed anaesthesia, a psychical narcosis.

Incidentally, earlier etymological interpretations of the word led people to understand it as a virtue that will pave the way to enlightenment. This apathy, they view as the detachment from all things physical and transient. Kantian philosophy even champions apathy as a state of freedom from worldly inclinations and desires. It is not wrong to eschew materialism for the practice of looking within oneself for the real and the enduring. But, to pledge adherence to apathy is to give up living itself. It is to stand by and watch life pass us by, to go through the motions of living without activity. It is to denounce beauty.

The most malignant thing about apathy is that it gives rise to mediocrity. Without the ability to feel for anything, what can be our benchmark for excellence? In fact, without the passion to undertake, we are only destitute drones working towards the completion of tasks at hand. Throughout the course of humanity, the breakthroughs we have achieved would never have happened without our fervent strive for answers, our blazing determination and even our daring blunders.

The beauty of human emotion is that despite giving us the handicap of fallibility, it is our teacher. It teaches us morality and holds us in check where ethical dilemmas are presented. Its greatest enemy, apathy, creates a void in which evil festers. Edmund Burke once said, ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.’ For any self-respecting, feeling human, the guilt of inaction would be indelible on their conscience.

Postmodern adaptations of the word have associated apathy with unhealthy visions of emotionless killings. To me, apathy carries with it nihilistic undertones. I cannot deny that in today’s complex world, contradiction and ambiguity have driven people to lose faith in their beliefs. Repeated disappointments inflict blows on people more than they care to admit. Gradually, our subconscious mechanism to block distressing information makes us forget we are human.

I would rather be accused of being voracious than unfeeling. And if I die today, I want to go knowing I was devoutly spiritual instead of agnostic, that I was incensed rather than bitter, and that I was euphoric rather than relieved. I want to have fought for human injustices, loved like there was no tomorrow, and ached my heart to pieces.