I do realize I am getting increasingly unprofessional in this blog because I started it with the noble intention of writing about things that matter. And my last few posts haven't been about things that matter.
But I must write and I need an avenue to release my latent...feelings. I cannot believe how a reasonably rational person can get so caught up in this. Maybe I will delete this post one day. Right now, I just need to proclaim it, for the sake of my sanity. I must have been really deluded to tolerate that kind of selfishness and narcissism. Tell me how narcissistic a person can get. For all the things I saw and liked, I must be crazy to think they can make up for this.
For the past weeks, I have been blindly bashing downwards, voluntarily or otherwise, trying to seek the bottom of my own abyss. Every single time I think I've reached it, I manage to sink further. It must be some kind of a bottomless pit. I pray it isn't. Because I want to reach the bottom and then only can I stand up. I have no wish to dive head down forever because it is one hell of a sickening feeling (and I get really bad motion sickness).
I wanna scream, I wanna curse, I wanna throw something that breaks with a really loud crash. I want my life back. In one piece. The only concession I can offer is a discreet scar.
You never were the best for me. Said Daughtry in his infinite wisdom.
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3 comments:
chill babe. :)
seriously speaking, WHO CARES ABOUT UNPROFESSIONAL!!! study first, worry about this later, then watch south park after that and try to revert to professionalism after after that. remember, if you're feeling down, just remember the wise words of my brother and his flawless, perfect english. it'll definitely bring a smile to your face just as it always brings a scowl to mine. :)
orh la orh la
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